My dear babies,
I guess, mummy won't be expecting you guys this year after all. So much for desiring a 2008 December baby. I thought that if we were successful this time around, there is a big chance of having a christmas baby! But, it was not meant to be.
Mummy was all lethargic yesterday......but more even emotionally lethargic.
Daddy wasn't much of a help, he was busy with work as usual and did not even spend time with mummy to console me for God knows I was feeling so so low.
You know, I feel so alone in this. Although I know he wants you as bad as i do....
but daddy is just not the sensitive kind. And he mentioned something last night...at that "i guess getting pregnant is only easy in movies".... which kinda bruised my heart even more. But i kept it inside and did not show my sorrow. I do not want things to get emotionally strained. I'm already down in the pitts.....I can spare myself more agony.
Sigh...
In fact, I've been having this cramps since about a week ago. Little cramps on the womb area. I was concerned what could it be. Could it be implantation? because during implantation, there are cramps too. I've never had cramps a week before my period. This time i have it ( could be because of clomid or the HCG shot i dont know) The period cramps on my first day was horrible. It felt very sourish and nagging pain. My flow was heavy even on the 1st day. Today is the 2nd day and the cramp still didn't go away, which usually does. And still very heavy flow.... My period cramps, if any, usually only happens on the 1st day. Today, day 2 and still very crampy. I feel tired. Extremely exhausted. I do not have the mood to do anything.....I feel emotionally drained and strained. The thought of having to go through clomid and doctor visits and jabs...and planned sex seems such a chore. I feel like crying....though my heart weeps....my eyes shed dry tears.
I'm a strong person. I can go through this. I can handle this........ I kept telling myself.
I thank God for blogs, i can write down my thoughts and need not keep them to myself else i would go crazy and my mind would explode with overloaded worries.
Well, lets hope for more follicles and pray for twins. I hope i can handle this. Ganbate mommy!!!
I guess, mummy won't be expecting you guys this year after all. So much for desiring a 2008 December baby. I thought that if we were successful this time around, there is a big chance of having a christmas baby! But, it was not meant to be.
Mummy was all lethargic yesterday......but more even emotionally lethargic.
Daddy wasn't much of a help, he was busy with work as usual and did not even spend time with mummy to console me for God knows I was feeling so so low.
You know, I feel so alone in this. Although I know he wants you as bad as i do....
but daddy is just not the sensitive kind. And he mentioned something last night...at that "i guess getting pregnant is only easy in movies".... which kinda bruised my heart even more. But i kept it inside and did not show my sorrow. I do not want things to get emotionally strained. I'm already down in the pitts.....I can spare myself more agony.
Sigh...
In fact, I've been having this cramps since about a week ago. Little cramps on the womb area. I was concerned what could it be. Could it be implantation? because during implantation, there are cramps too. I've never had cramps a week before my period. This time i have it ( could be because of clomid or the HCG shot i dont know) The period cramps on my first day was horrible. It felt very sourish and nagging pain. My flow was heavy even on the 1st day. Today is the 2nd day and the cramp still didn't go away, which usually does. And still very heavy flow.... My period cramps, if any, usually only happens on the 1st day. Today, day 2 and still very crampy. I feel tired. Extremely exhausted. I do not have the mood to do anything.....I feel emotionally drained and strained. The thought of having to go through clomid and doctor visits and jabs...and planned sex seems such a chore. I feel like crying....though my heart weeps....my eyes shed dry tears.
I'm a strong person. I can go through this. I can handle this........ I kept telling myself.
I thank God for blogs, i can write down my thoughts and need not keep them to myself else i would go crazy and my mind would explode with overloaded worries.
Well, lets hope for more follicles and pray for twins. I hope i can handle this. Ganbate mommy!!!
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